Forced Marriage

We call ourselves ‘modern’,’ broad mined’ and ‘forward’ but force marriages are still in practised very much in today's day and age. It’s not just emotional but sometimes marriages are conducted without a valid consent of the bride and the groom, where duress is a factor. In my experience I have come across so many girls, who are at the risk of or fleeing forced marriage. I so find them torn between their wishes and ambitions and their loyalty towards their parents. My heart really goes out for those victims who are in these situations and are trying so hard to make a sense of their lives and regain all the strength and courage to battle against… their very own Parents.

This is dedicated to all those survivors…..


Forced fate

Once again, am staring from this tiny little window at maple tree
Wondering will I ever come out of this room and be free
Days? Weeks? Or may be month. Don’t remember how long in this room I’ve been.
Never thought, saying ‘No’ to an arranged marriage was such a big sin.

I am only 18, I so wanted to work and get myself educated
Not, get into marriage so early and be frustrated
I thought my parents loved me and understood how I felt
If they cared for my well being, would my dad at night hit me with a belt?

Who is this guy whom they want me to get married? Is he made up of gold?
‘You need to keep up the family honour’ that’s all I am told
I get cursed, beaten black and blue just to obtain a ‘yes’.
But now, when I think of my dreams and ambitions my life is a mess

I feel so disconnected, no one shows they care
My own siblings feel ashamed of me, this thought I just can’t bear
I wish I could do something about my situation, some action I could take
If I do something drastic, run away from the window or commit suicide, all relationship and bonds I break

I still do care for my parents to see them hurt, I just hate
So what do I do with my life, just give into this crap and call it fate?
It’s not broken bones, scarred face and bruises that hurt me.
But it kills me to know my despair, my agony and my cries my parents don’t see.

I wish I could get some help, and come out of this situation so horrible
But I also wish not to depart from family, live life happy and normal
So lonely. So depressed. So helpless… I feel I am going mad.
I am alive for namesake, within me I am dead.

21st century Indian woman

Tall and slim, long brown hair
Red shinning lipstick, hazel eyes and her skin so fair
In she comes with high heels, short skirt, her posture so staright
All the men just have one question to ask, “Can we go on a date?”
“Date?” she said “sorry! I am married Indian woman”
“I may look 22, but at home I have 2 children”

“ OMG” said an aunty from the corner, “she doesn’t have anything in her neck to prove she is married”
Another aunty said, “at least red colour on her forehead she should have carried.”
Granny said, “What the hell is she wearing, does she know what is respect and tradition?”
Another lady muttered, “Wonder what values she’ll pass on to the next generation.”
Among all the critics, 21st century woman stood so not shaken.
She is much beyond this phase and she knows these criticisms too close to your heart must not be taken.

She thought – to prove my marriage why do I need something in my neck and forehead?
There are so many women out there, who in spite to be perfect daughter-in-law or wife their marriages are dead
I am not a property or a document- whose identity needs to be proved by stamping me red
Why don’t men do something? Dress certainly? Or wear something to show they are lawfully wed.

I don’t find wearing short skirts or skinny jeans provocative
Wear whatever suits you- you may be tall, thin, tiny or massive
Granny’s ‘nauvari’ was well above her knees
I could see that critic aunty’s fat tummy through her saree.

Tradition and religion are separate and different
Religion teaches us our duties which in life are important
Every generation however has witnessed traditions very vividly
No matter what every mother-in-law said every daughter-in-law has done things differently.

Your ethics and morals on clothes, it can’t be judged
‘Respect’ is not a candy to be given, it has to be earned
Is important people know you by your nature and your conduct
It’s vital to rise above everything, in vicious circle of criticism and gossips you should not be caught.

Remember every change came at the cost,
Look at you in the mirror there is nothing you have lost
I look so smart and confident, my personality so blissful!
My job gives me good money and satisfaction… isn’t that cool?
On weekends feast for family and friends I cook
I make sure that, children’s report cards have good grades to look
For my children I can be a bum and bottle cleaner
What’s your problem if my husband helps me out with the dinner?
I can do everything; I surely can mutli-task
Make in time for work, home perfectly spotless and not miss my aerobics class
Mind you, I am religious and not against certain traditions
All I am talking about is simply evolution!!

-- Veda

I asked myself a question..

I asked myself a question,
What would I like to be?
Would I like to be a modern girl?
Or would I be dutiful and homely?

I asked my parents a question
What would you like me to be?
‘Make me proud of you my child, study! Work hard!! ’ they said
‘Hard work’ and ‘honesty’ is the key

I asked my friend a question,
What would you like me to be?
Be there for me when I need you
And give love life and career advice for free

I asked my boss a question
What would you like me to be?
Get in more business.
In a day more clients you need to see

I asked my husband a question,
What would you like me to be?
I would like you to be good to my family
‘Responsible person’ is something you need to be.

I asked my in-laws a question
What would you like me to be?
Traditions of our family you must follow
We need to see a grand child; we want to start calling you ‘mother-to-be’.

I thought and thought and asked myself again the same question
In a real sense WHAT WOULD I LIKE TO BE?
Modern girl?
Dutiful wife
Homely woman?
Hardworking, honest and a responsible one.
Educated with a great job.
Starting a family is also what I need to think of.
Follow family traditions
And be there for friends
To add ‘business’, ‘growth’, ‘production’ ,‘litigation’,‘ prosecution’
Too many expectations on my hands

How I wish I could satisfy all
Bring a smile on everyone’s face and be in control
Thinking from deep within me….what do I really want to be?
Carefree, independent, achiever yet humble
All I really want is to be happy.

--Veda