Friday 18 November 2011

Fighting your fears....





I close my eyes, hoping for peaceful sleep
“So what if I fail?”- says a voice, within me deep
I keep tossing and turning in my bed, battling my thoughts
I tell myself, “victory or loss is not in your hand – every battle at hand, must be fought.”

I am ready to give my efforts completely
I am also high on my confidence
But that doesn’t stop me from thinking what will happen tomorrow
Will I live up to my expectation and give good performance?

I feel like a warrior, who will wake up tomorrow to face his fears
Or like Tendulakar – hoping his contribution will make a win clear
Wonder what Obama felt before he gave his first ever speech
It’s such a pressure to give a performance without an error or hitch.

At the end it doesn’t matter if you pass or fail
Not everyone can hit the hammer on nail
It’s futile to think about what others will think of your failure
Everyone has individual weakness – no one is clean and clear

Life is full of ups and downs
Be prepared for the next opportunity, leaving behind the frown
Every time you fall you get an opportunity to climb back
Improve, challenge yourself – when there is something you lack.

Every stage in life brings a test
What is important is that- you feel you’ve given your best
Tell your self you can do it and give it your best shot
Result is not in your hands, but at least full heartedly battle you have fought.


Useful tips to overcome failure:


The fear of failure is perhaps the strongest force holding people below their potential. In a world full of uncertainty, a delicate economy, and countless misfortunes that could happen to anyone, it’s easy to see why most people are inclined to play it safe.

But playing it safe has risk as well. If you never dare to fail your success will have a low ceiling. Most people underestimate their merit and ability to recover from failure, leading them to pass up valuable opportunities. The ability to fail big and fail often has been a mark of the spectacularly successful throughout history.
The following strategies will help you put risk and reward in perspective so you can overcome the fear of failure.


1. Consider the cost of missed opportunities
– The biggest risk that people fail to consider is the benefit they lose by avoiding high risk/high reward opportunities. In his guide to career planning, Netscape founder Marc Andreesen compares a well managed career to a diversified portfolio. The ideal career contains a wide range of job opportunities (some risky, some safe) that combine to form a relatively safe career with a high potential for growth. Taking high risk opportunities is essential because they offer the greatest reward:
The issue is that without taking risk, you can’t exploit any opportunities. You can live a quiet and reasonably happy life, but you are unlikely to create something new, and you are unlikely to make your mark on the world.


2. Research the alternatives
– The unknown is a major source of fear. When you don’t know what you’re dealing with, potential consequences seem far worse than they actually are. Take the power out fear by understanding it. Research all the potential outcomes (both good and bad) so you genuinely understand the risk of failure and benefits of success. Analyzing these outcomes will help you see through the fear of failure and make a logical decision.


3. Put the worst-case scenario in perspective
– One of the most powerful questions posed by Tim Ferriss in the 4-Hour Workweek is: If you chase your dreams and fall flat on your face, worst-case scenario, how long will it take you to recover? The answer is probably less than you expect. How hard would it really be to find another job? Chances are you could recover completely in a few months. Is the fear of a few rough months strong enough to keep you in a mediocre situation indefinitely?


4. Understand the benefits of failure
– As Emerson said, life is a series of experiments, the more you make the better. Each failure is a trial in an experiment and an opportunity for growth. Even if a failure costs you financially, the educational benefits can far outweigh the loss. Working for a startup instead of a big company is considered risky, but according Paul Graham, “Managers at big companies prefer to hire someone who’d tried to start a startup and failed over someone who’d spent the same time working at a big company.” Maybe that experience at a big company isn’t as safe or as valuable as you think?


5. Make a contingency plan
– Another way to overcome the fear of failure is to reduce the downside. Hedge your risk by creating a contingency plan. Even if your first option fails, you can maintain the status quo with a solid backup plan. Daring to fail doesn’t mean you have to risk losing it all. If you manage risk intelligently, you can capture the benefits of high risk opportunities while leaving yourself a safety net.


6. Take action
– The best way to reduce fear and build confidence is taking action. As soon as you do, you’ll begin accumulating experience and knowledge. Everything is hardest the first time. It’s like jumping off a cliff into a lake — after you do it once, you see that the water is safe and each time afterwards is easy. Start off with small steps and build up your confidence until the fear of failure is manageable.

7. Burn the boats - When ancient Greek armies traveled across the sea to do battle, the first thing they would do after landing was to burn the boats, leaving them stranded. With no way to make it home besides victory, the resolve of the soldiers was strengthened. When success and failure are the only options, you have no choice but to follow through.
If you have a goal, but are afraid to commit, force yourself into action by burning the boats. Register for an exam in advance if you want to go back to school. Set a deadline to move to a new city without signing a lease. Fear of failure disappears when you realize it can’t save you.

Friday 2 September 2011

Birthday Dedication to my Father-in-law




I am sure I am chosen one from heaven
Best father-in-law to me he has given
Blessed I am to be part of Kamat family
Thanks for making me feel comfortable and homely

Our guardian angel is what you’ve always been
For help, support and wisdom, we know on you we can lean
Your wealth of experience and wits with us you share
You may not say it but we know how much for us you care

‘Sushegad’ and laid back you definitely are – you are one of its kind.
Critic to the core you are, faults in everyone you find
Sometimes you shout at mummy for reasons so lame
But when she gets angry at you…You take no blame

On a road directions you won’t ask, as it hurts your pride
But knowledge of everything and common sense is truly on your side
From outside you look harsh and strict – is what people have felt
But I think you are emotional and soft from within, like ice cream you
too do melt.

You are really humble and for your people you really care
Do take decisions which are not bias but always fair
There are lots of things you don’t say but your gestures and actions
speak.
Today, may you have best birthday and your happiness reach the peak.

On this special occasion, happy birthday we'd like you to wish you
Good health, prosperity –whatever you wish may it come true
May you always be fit as a fiddle - Joy and happiness around you throw
Under your shade of guidance and protection we kids will continue to
grow

Tuesday 23 August 2011

Forced Marriage


We call ourselves ‘modern’,’ broad mined’ and ‘forward’ but force marriages are still in practised very much in today's day and age. It’s not just emotional but sometimes marriages are conducted without a valid consent of the bride and the groom, where duress is a factor. In my experience I have come across so many girls, who are at the risk of or fleeing forced marriage. I so find them torn between their wishes and ambitions and their loyalty towards their parents. My heart really goes out for those victims who are in these situations and are trying so hard to make a sense of their lives and regain all the strength and courage to battle against… their very own Parents.

This is dedicated to all those survivors…..


Forced fate

Once again, am staring from this tiny little window at maple tree
Wondering will I ever come out of this room and be free
Days? Weeks? Or may be month. Don’t remember how long in this room I’ve been.
Never thought, saying ‘No’ to an arranged marriage was such a big sin.

I am only 18, I so wanted to work and get myself educated
Not, get into marriage so early and be frustrated
I thought my parents loved me and understood how I felt
If they cared for my well being, would my dad at night hit me with a belt?

Who is this guy whom they want me to get married? Is he made up of gold?
‘You need to keep up the family honour’ that’s all I am told
I get cursed, beaten black and blue just to obtain a ‘yes’.
But now, when I think of my dreams and ambitions my life is a mess

I feel so disconnected, no one shows they care
My own siblings feel ashamed of me, this thought I just can’t bear
I wish I could do something about my situation, some action I could take
If I do something drastic, run away from the window or commit suicide, all relationship and bonds I break

I still do care for my parents to see them hurt, I just hate
So what do I do with my life, just give into this crap and call it fate?
It’s not broken bones, scarred face and bruises that hurt me.
But it kills me to know my despair, my agony and my cries my parents don’t see.

I wish I could get some help, and come out of this situation so horrible
But I also wish not to depart from family, live life happy and normal
So lonely. So depressed. So helpless… I feel I am going mad.
I am alive for namesake, within me I am dead.

Saturday 20 August 2011

21st century Indian woman



Tall and slim, long brown hair
Red shinning lipstick, hazel eyes and her skin so fair
In she comes with high heels, short skirt, her posture so staright
All the men just have one question to ask, “Can we go on a date?”
“Date?” she said “sorry! I am married Indian woman”
“I may look 22, but at home I have 2 children”

“ OMG” said an aunty from the corner, “she doesn’t have anything in her neck to prove she is married”
Another aunty said, “at least red colour on her forehead she should have carried.”
Granny said, “What the hell is she wearing, does she know what is respect and tradition?”
Another lady muttered, “Wonder what values she’ll pass on to the next generation.”
Among all the critics, 21st century woman stood so not shaken.
She is much beyond this phase and she knows these criticisms too close to your heart must not be taken.

She thought – to prove my marriage why do I need something in my neck and forehead?
There are so many women out there, who in spite to be perfect daughter-in-law or wife their marriages are dead
I am not a property or a document- whose identity needs to be proved by stamping me red
Why don’t men do something? Dress certainly? Or wear something to show they are lawfully wed.

I don’t find wearing short skirts or skinny jeans provocative
Wear whatever suits you- you may be tall, thin, tiny or massive
Granny’s ‘nauvari’ was well above her knees
I could see that critic aunty’s fat tummy through her saree.

Tradition and religion are separate and different
Religion teaches us our duties which in life are important
Every generation however has witnessed traditions very vividly
No matter what every mother-in-law said every daughter-in-law has done things differently.

Your ethics and morals on clothes, it can’t be judged
‘Respect’ is not a candy to be given, it has to be earned
Is important people know you by your nature and your conduct
It’s vital to rise above everything, in vicious circle of criticism and gossips you should not be caught.

Remember every change came at the cost,
Look at you in the mirror there is nothing you have lost
I look so smart and confident, my personality so blissful!
My job gives me good money and satisfaction… isn’t that cool?
On weekends feast for family and friends I cook
I make sure that, children’s report cards have good grades to look
For my children I can be a bum and bottle cleaner
What’s your problem if my husband helps me out with the dinner?
I can do everything; I surely can mutli-task
Make in time for work, home perfectly spotless and not miss my aerobics class
Mind you, I am religious and not against certain traditions
All I am talking about is simply evolution!!

-- Veda

I asked myself a question..



I asked myself a question,
What would I like to be?
Would I like to be a modern girl?
Or would I be dutiful and homely?

I asked my parents a question
What would you like me to be?
‘Make me proud of you my child, study! Work hard!! ’ they said
‘Hard work’ and ‘honesty’ is the key

I asked my friend a question,
What would you like me to be?
Be there for me when I need you
And give love life and career advice for free

I asked my boss a question
What would you like me to be?
Get in more business.
In a day more clients you need to see

I asked my husband a question,
What would you like me to be?
I would like you to be good to my family
‘Responsible person’ is something you need to be.

I asked my in-laws a question
What would you like me to be?
Traditions of our family you must follow
We need to see a grand child; we want to start calling you ‘mother-to-be’.

I thought and thought and asked myself again the same question
In a real sense WHAT WOULD I LIKE TO BE?
Modern girl?
Dutiful wife
Homely woman?
Hardworking, honest and a responsible one.
Educated with a great job.
Starting a family is also what I need to think of.
Follow family traditions
And be there for friends
To add ‘business’, ‘growth’, ‘production’ ,‘litigation’,‘ prosecution’
Too many expectations on my hands

How I wish I could satisfy all
Bring a smile on everyone’s face and be in control
Thinking from deep within me….what do I really want to be?
Carefree, independent, achiever yet humble
All I really want is to be happy.

--Veda